How to have a Massage
Let’s get something straight. There is no right way to have a massage.
Or rather no right way to receive a massage, I’ve lost track of the number of bodies I’ve laid hands on and this is what I’m learning.
Many people worry that they will ‘fail’ at having a massage, which I’m not even sure is possible. Unless you’ve been frog-marched here against your will and been forced on to the table (which would be weird and I’m pretty sure, illegal) if you find yourself with an appointment at Loop, I’m assuming that you want a massage or you’re at least curious and that’s a very good first step.
I think what people mean by ‘failing’ is not feeling able to relax, in a loose tally of why that might be and why it’s not a failure because at the end of the day if you’re showing up for yourself, you cannot fail.
It feels weird giving over control of your body to another human. That’s a natural and pretty healthy instinct, some people can relax into that more quickly than others. Some days it will feel easier to do than others. I hope over time you will build up a relationship with your therapist and it won’t feel quite so alien. Every now and then it’s an amazing nurturing experience to just let someone else take the burden of care for a little while.
You can’t turn off your mind. Well, that’s hardly a surprise, given the amount of stimulus we face for the majority of our day. Yet for some reason, we treat it as such a massive failure. Sometimes it’s lovely to just count your breaths and have a relatively blank mind for a bit but, you know what even if you spend the whole appointment think, think, thinking it’s not a disaster. Maybe you’ve not afforded yourself the time a space to think about a pressing subject, maybe you’ll think about it for this hour but when you leave you’ll be able to give your focus to something else. Worse case scenario your muscles are still benefiting from the time being spent stretched and soothed.
You are worried what your therapist is thinking about your body. I don’t think I can say this plainly enough - while we asses bodies, WE ARE NOT JUDGING YOUR BODY. We are very focused on your muscles and what we can do to them. It honestly makes me sad when people say they’ve put off having a massage due to shame. Everyone has body hang ups, I now spend the majority of my days in skintight Lycra, if you had told me this 4 years ago, I’d have laughed in your face. I also get nervous in yoga classes, no body cares about anyone else in yoga classes but I’m still intimidated. Like I said, everyone has their hang ups. Women, please stop apologising for not shaving your legs. We really don’t care and you know what? A man has never apologised for the same thing so lets just put this on to rest shall we.
What if I fall asleep and ‘waste’ the massage? I like that I have one of the only jobs in the world where falling asleep is a huge compliment. It means we’ve soothed your parasympathetic nervous system and can get to work on the sympathetic one. Also, the hardest muscles to relax is your mind, so if you’re asleep we can get to work on your other muscles to greater effect. Never apologise for falling asleep. Snoring is also totally cool.
What if I fart, my tummy rumbles, my throat makes a weird noise, I cry, yelp or in some other way make a sound like a human? Well, what if your massage therapist does? Guess what, we are humans and that’s all totally ok, when we relax our whole body lets go a little, and that's fine.
You know what? At the end of the day massage might not be the right way for you to relax so if you’ve tried and it’s just not you’re jam. That’s totally cool too.